Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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