I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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