How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
