Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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