yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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