Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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