Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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