I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
