if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
