I'm laying in your front yard are you home
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
