I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
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He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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