please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
