did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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