Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
