drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
