Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
