I want to stick my p in your. b.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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