i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
