A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I need water and some morals
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