If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
