Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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