My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
