I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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