I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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