Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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