Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
