I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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