OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
