You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
