no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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