I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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