The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I still have a little drunk in my system
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
