So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
