I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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