Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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