weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
