Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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