You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
