She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize