I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
