I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
