Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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