people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
