ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
