if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I need water and some morals
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize