i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
