I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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