look no pants
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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