i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
