I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
