She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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