I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
