Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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