He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
