More tranny stories later!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
