I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
