Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
