Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
