so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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