Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
