He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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