You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
