I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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