can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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