i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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