Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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