Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
