this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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